


six months

by kaiohtic



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:06:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7483530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiohtic/pseuds/kaiohtic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sehun wonders how much people (read: junmyeon) can change within six months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	six months

**Author's Note:**

  * For [junxouji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/gifts).



How much can a person change over the course of six months, Sehun wonders, though what he is actually more concerned about is how much can _Junmyeon_ change within that time?  
  
He hasn't seen Junmyeon much, neither personally - how could he when Junmyeon got a scholarship for a semester in Hongkong while he is stuck here? - nor online. They promised to skype often but with clashing schedules it's not easy. Apart from that, Junmyeon has always been rather busy with studies. If it weren't for meals and bed time, they probably wouldn't have spend much time bonding together. Not that Sehun would ever ask for more though, he isn't that kind of greedy person. He simply accepts it and hopes that Junmyeon will pay a bit more attention to him again once he is back in Seoul.  
  
But what if spending half a year abroad has been enough for Junmyeon to re-evaluate their relationship? What if he thinks Sehun is undeserving of him now? After tall, Junmyeon is that smart kid with a bright future ahead while Sehun is just average, no, mediocre in everything he does, except for the fine art of photography. So what if Junmyeon has met someone cute and smart like himself overseas? Maybe that is why he hasn't heard much of his boyfriend.  
  
"You're stupid," Jongin tells him when he shares his worries and concerns with his best friend. Sehun frowns. That's not the comfort he is seeking for.  
  
"You know, Junmyeon is not the type of person to just leave someone like that."  
  
"Right," Sehun says. He knows Junmyeon just as well as Jongin does since he basically grew up with both of them, what with Junmyeon being Jongin's older brother. "Junmyeon will wait to meet me in person to break up with me."  
  
"You're hopeless and stupid," Jongin say and shakes his head. "Why don't you talk all this out with Junmyeon? Solve it between the two of you? If you only ever told Junmyeon what you want, he would give it to you right away. Please stop doubting him or his feelings for you."  
  
But Sehun is not doubting Junmyeon. He is doubting if he himself is good enough for Junmyeon, that's all.  
  
  
  
  
  
He's nervous. It's been almost a month since he has seen Junmyeon's face live through skype, and it's been two days since they last texted. Junmyeon has told him not to come pick him up at the airport, so Sehun didn't, although there's nothing he wants more than to do that. Actually, there are a lot of things he wants to do, but doesn't dare to, either because his boyfriend doesn't like them or because he assumes his boyfriend dislikes them. That's why he's never dared to initiate a kiss, never again after Junmyeon told him _not now, Sehunnie, I'm busy_.  
  
Today though, things should be different. Sehun is very sure that today will be the end of everything, so he just wants to experience some more, wants to have the sweet romance he has always been dreaming of having with Junmyeon. If he can't have it for a lifetime later, then it would only be fair to have some of it now before it all crashes down.  
  
Sehun is sitting in his usual spot in their usual place, a small coffee shop tucked away in a corner no one seems to pay much attention to. It's quiet there, that's why Junmyeon likes to meet up in this place. So they won't be disturbed, Sehun thought in the beginning, but now he knows it's so that Junmyeon can study while being with him. Of course, Sehun has never protested, though he has always wanted a sweet, romantic date. But, whatever Junmyeon wants, right? Sehun can't be selfish and be a hindrance to Junmyeon when in return, he has always received support and encouragement only.  
  
"Hyung!" Sehun greets and gets up the moment he spots his boyfriend walking towards him. He's looking good, Sehun thinks. Hongkong must have been a nice change of air for him. He's looking fine and dapper in black slacks and that dress shirt, almost over dressed for Sehun in his simple jeans and tee combination. Junmyeon's hair is gelled back, too, a thing he's never done before, too busy with studies to pay much attention to his appearance. It makes Sehun want to shrink into his seat. Never has he felt this inadequate next to Junmyeon.  
  
"I'm sorry for making you wait, Sehunnie," Junmyeon says, smooth voice and blinding smile - Sehun's weakness.  
  
"I wasn't waiting for that long," Sehun assures, his own smile growing timid. "Let me order you a drink. The usual?"  
  
"I don't drink chocolate frappe anymore," Junmyeon tells him and Sehun deflates. Of course not. Junmyeon is more fashionable now. He probably prefers americano like all the other cool guys around Sehun.  
  
"An americano for me, please," Junmyeon tells the waiter. Bingo, Sehun thinks somewhat bitterly. Junmyeon has changed far more than he has expected, but well, did he really think Junmyeon would stay the same? Of course he would improve and develop, and one day leaving Sehun behind. Especially when he gets a scholarship to study at some cool place where people are known to be fashionable and successful, and Sehun can feel the distance even now. Actually, he feels even more distant from his boyfriend than ever.  
  
"Hongkong must have changed you much," he mumbles, and in return, he just gets a smile, when usually, Junmyeon would always verbally reply. Always.  
  
There's silence between them, but that's nothing new. Except for pens scratching onto paper or the sound of pages being turned, there's not much sounds when they're together. It makes Sehun stare down on the table, eyes falling on the expensive watch Junmyeon is wearing. He must have gotten himself a few rich friends. Maybe a rich almost boy- or girlfriend. Almost, because prim and proper Junmyeon would of course break up with him first, so Sehun makes his move before it's too late.  
  
He doesn't care that there might be curious eyes witnessing the whole scene. Sehun just leans forward, eyes fluttering shut when he feels Junmyeon's lips pressed against his. There's a surprised gasp, and Sehun takes that opportunity to sneak his tongue inside Junmyeon's mouth, his lips moving with a confidence and boldness he has never shown before, mostly because he never owned that kind of confidence.  
  
He's pulling away now, feeling delirious just from a brief french kiss, but then Junmyeon is pulling him back. A hand is cupping the back of his head, keeping him in place, and now it's Sehun's turn to gasp, surprised that Junmyeon is reciprocating. His hands are firmly planted on the table now, supporting his upper body's weight as he keeps kissing his boyfriend, only pulling away when someone is clearing their throat. The waitress is red faced as she serves their drinks, but so is Sehun who can't look Junmyeon in the eye.  
  
"Seoul must have changed you, too," Junmyeon chuckles and Sehun looks up, shy eyes glancing quickly at the other, gaze averting again when he sees the amused expression.  
  
"I didn't change," Sehun whispers in reply, teeth worried between his lips. But even if he changed, could he have changed and turned into a person worthy to stay beside someone as perfect as Junmyeon? Most likely not.  
  
"You never kissed me before," Junmyeon points out and Sehun cowers away, embarrassed. "Not in that way at least."  
  
"I wanted a farewell kiss," he mumbles. "That's all. You're going to break up with me today, right?"  
  
Another silence. Sehun doesn't dare to look up, too afraid of the expression and emotions he will find on Junmyeon's face. It's too soon, it's too early to break up, his heart and mind says, but then again, the sooner the better, right? He needs to move on and find someone he's good enough for. Someone who doesn't feel like he's thousands of miles away although they're sitting across from each other, not even a meter separating them.  
  
"What made you think so?" Junmyeon asks. He sounds calm, yet Sehun doesn't know how to reply.  
  
"Should I have skyped you more often? Did I neglect you?" Sehun shakes his head.  
  
"Then why...?"  
  
Sehun takes a deep breath. And then he talks. He tells Junmyeon about his feelings - how inadequate he feels, unworthy, not good enough. He tells Junmyeon about his worries - that Junmyeon might have changed during those six months, that Junmyeon might have found himself someone better to date. But most importantly, he tells Junmyeon how he had always tried to be the perfect and sweet boyfriend, not demanding, although he is clingy and needy, always wanting to be spoiled - with hugs, with touches, with kisses. With more time spent together, not on study dates but actual dates.  
  
He is in tears when he is done with recounting everything, the little details, the moments he can remember, and Junmyeon surprisingly pulls him into a hug.  
  
"You're the silliest kid I've ever had the pleasure to meet," Junmyeon says and cups his face, thumbs wiping at the corners of his eyes. "But you're also the sweetest and most kind-hearted person that I know. How could I want to break up with you? I need to stay by your side and protect you from your self-destructive self. Don't be so harsh on yourself, Sehun-ah. Next time when you want to hold hands, then take my hand. When you want to go on a date date, then tell me so. And when you want to kiss, just kiss me. Why should I be the only one deciding when and and what to do? You're in this relationship, too, your wants and needs are important as well. You just need to voice them, and we'll do something about it, okay?"  
  
Sehun nods. "Okay."  
  
  
  
  
  
It's a little weird for Sehun to have this new, attentive Junmyeon, though he should have known that Junmyeon would have given him this kind of attention earlier, if only he had asked for it. So if before he would be inwardly moping about Junmyeon focusing on his studies too much when they are together, now he would be inwardly crying because Junmyeon is only looking at him. It's odd, and as much as Sehun wants to be straightforward and tell Junmyeon what he wants most of the time, he is still too shy to do that, except for now.  
  
Junmyeon's coming back from a one month schooling in Tokyo, and Sehun is determined to surprise him, and he succeeds - with a sweet, sweet kiss in the midst of the airport, the moment Junmyeon steps into the arrival hall.


End file.
